


Forgive Me, Brother of Mine

by orphan_account



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: I'm not even sorry for this lmao, M/M, angst mode;; activated, if you're anything like me and can't live without angst, maybe I am but whatever, sweet mother of god I just bawled my eyes out, then this is your jam because, you'll never get confirmation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 08:03:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5531924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“But I didn’t know a single thing, Verg, because you kept everything under wraps,” he wanted this to end, his heart ached, pounding painfully against fleshy confines, throat scorching, veins bursting with fire, ever growing, coursing through the entirety of his body, muscles spasmodic, tears threatening, nerves going haywire with every word that passes through his mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive Me, Brother of Mine

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to angst hell, I'll be your guide and I'll be throwing this shit at you nonstop so prepare yourselves  
> merry christm(angst)s 
> 
> \- end notes will explain things if they seem confusing + constant edits because I'm never pleased with my works lmao

He couldn’t, he wouldn’t listen to reason, he was _abstaining_ from it, to mimic a certain someone’s words. Ethereal tendrils of pain sprouted from his chest, curling ‘round the skeletal figure, tiny needles emerging from the main stem, piercing the muscle, the bone, digging deep until able to root itself. Jaw clenched, teeth grinding to the point of pain, gods he was _angry, betrayed,_ but most of all he was _breaking._

The man fell to his knees, fingers grasping at the hardened red fabric of his coat, at his ribcage, the other hand curling into a fist, pressed into the timber surface. He didn’t want to endure loss, _not again_ , not when he had already lost parents to otherworldly fiends. He once told himself he’d be a fucking fool if he let his brother pass. His body refused to work, muscles jammed, rewired.

Within the confines of his beloved business, he was _crumbling._ For the longest time he had been caging his emotions, within the deepest part of his soul, but now the walls were coming undone. He knew he wouldn’t be able to survive, not like this. _But he was a fool, with blood on his hands_.

He bared his teeth, hissing through the rows of white, wetness nipping at his eyes, voice hoarse, gravelly almost. “ _You insufferable piece of shit, I’ve tried so fucking hard for you yet… yet I get this shit as a fucking thanks?”_ Incandescent rage finally unveiled. “ _I chased after you and your ridiculous fucking ideas, and I saved you from certain death for what? A few more years at life until you went ahead and threw it all away because of your unhealthy obsession with **power**.” _ He had grown to detest the word, with every single fiber of his being.

“ _I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you so fucking much.”_ An obvious lie. “ _Why couldn’t you just enjoy life? Why couldn’t you fucking do one thing for me and just **live**? Why did you have to break our childhood promise?” _ The pain was indescribable, everything he knew, everything he lived for had disappeared over the course of time, and all he was left with was a _tattered little book_ , one he hadn’t even looked at yet. He knew exactly whose it was, and what it was for.

“ _I trusted you, to the point where I would **die** for you. I loved you, far more than I ever needed to, and you bastard, you fucking **knew** , you knew all of my emotions. You were the last piece of family I had and now you’re gone, do you even understand how fucking painful this is?!” _Of course he wouldn’t, he’s _dead, gone, 6 fucking feet under._

“ _But I didn’t know a single thing, Verg, because you kept everything under wraps,”_ he wanted this to end, his heart ached, pounding painfully against fleshy confines, throat scorching _,_ veins bursting with fire, ever growing, coursing through the entirety of his body, muscles spasmodic, tears threatening, nerves going haywire with every word that passes through his mouth.

“ _First I lost Mom, Dad disappeared, and then I was separated from you and our first heart-warming greeting is a fucking blade to the chest. You tried to make me choose between humanity and you, but I managed to save your ungrateful soul and I helped humanity. In the end, you still went after **power**.” _ An animalistic growl accompanied the last word, he finally started to choke.

“ _Why did you continue looking for something you had? Why did you force me to fight you over and over?!_ _You selfish piece of shit. Didn’t you enjoy our time together?”_ The questions cut into him, much like Rebellion once did, unable to hold the tears back, situating both hands against the timber. He bashed his forehead into the wooden surface, repetitively, _screaming_ in agony. _Didn’t you fucking enjoy the time we spent together?_

_You used me, my body, you muttered sweet little things into my ears, you were there every fucking morning, your fingers running through my hair, you told me you’d never leave, you lying bastard._

Their nights of intimacy were wild, on multiple occasions they broke the bed, but mostly they were _close,_ they were _intimate_ through violent actions. They bit each other, they bruised each other, they scratched each other, they marked each other, they _loved_ each other and they chose to express it through their underlying _anger,_ but not once did they go easy on each other - essentially a competition between the two.

Every emotion invoked by the older twin came back, to spite him, to crush him, to bring him down, to stomp all over his battered body. He was tired, he had been trying so long to find a reason to live, to continue helping humanity but what was the point when everything he had ever loved _perished_. He couldn’t do anything, every morning he had felt more useless than the morning before and the thought ate into his mind, nipping, never-ending, more so due to the fact that he was forced to  _kill his own brother._

Dante was hard headed, it would take much more than wood to deal any form of damage, but the pain was nothing compared to the disaster taking place within his chest. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, he stood, uneasily, almost tipping over to the side. One step after another, nearly in tandem, the tapping ringing amidst the sorrowful, silent atmosphere until he had reached the desk.

Fingertips pressed into the torn, bloodied cerulean cover of the book, index finger hooked onto the sharp edge, pulling away to reveal the first page. One word, a single name, had been inscribed into the yellowish page, one that used to roll off the tip of Dante’s tongue with sweet, sweet joy. _Vergil._

He didn’t want to continue, he didn’t want to look through the contents but he felt compelled, as though he’d be doing Vergil a favour. _Implying the asshole needs me to do anything for him._ Elegant strokes, cursive, not a single letter out of place, perfectly connected was the first thing to greet him, the slightest pinch of relief within his muscles.

He began flicking through the x marked pages, but it was a little book, surely there wasn’t much to it... it even contained pieces for Yamato, Eva and Sparda.   _Quantity, not quality, Dante._ Few of many words echoed in his mind, and by gods did it hurt.

 

X

– _and if I was to be sundered by your blade, would you feel any remorse? Would you feel broken, or even the slightest touch of pain? Upon your blade, I come undone, my emotions rampant, my pain unchained, much like you, my brother, yet t’is a sight I shall never show you, for my cold embraces me far better than you, she will never allow you to see my shattered soul._

_I abstain from reasoning when you are in the vicinity, for the very sight of you produces incoherent thoughts. Those thoughts irk me to no end, for they tamper with the gears in my mind._

_Oh brother of mine, you are truly a righteous man, to aid those lower than you, to protect them from my villainous schemes.–_

 

X

– _would you be able to say that you could comfort me during my time of struggle? Would you be able to embrace me and give me false comfort like everyone else? Or would you rise above, give me the assurance I so desire, the love I had been deprived of, and save me from my personal hell?_

_Through your actions I could see, see that your heart was as battered as mine, enduring identical pains, yet I could not comfort you, for you were far. The distance was great, rivaling that of the crust of the Earth and the floating tufts of clouds. Yet you were before my eyes, a mere meter away, with your blade raised in my direction._

_That distance was not there during our childhood years, for we had essentially split our souls, a half of you within me, and a half of me within you. Our feelings had become as clear as the skies of a summer morning, clear of white, cerulean as far as the eye could see. We trained together, we laughed together, we suffered loss together._

_Gods I wanted to ease the pain from your face, to ease your broken heart, to hold your scarred hands and bring you to my chest, to trap you in a serene dream. I was afraid, to the point where my soul had begun to tremble within the fleshy confines of my chest, where my hands felt uneasy with my most beloved blade._

_I wanted to confide in you, my dearest brother. To brace myself for the inferno circling your body, to come to an agreement of sorts, to meet in the middle. You were more than willing, I could see it in your eyes during our confrontation within the demon realm. Yet I could not, despite my desires._

_You had surpassed me in power, my brother, but it was not the power you were seeking. The azure of your eyes revealed unto me your true intentions, to save me, to rescue my soul, to make up for the years we spent apart, lest you put me to an eternal slumber._

_I ask you brother, even though you shall never hear my questions, my thoughts, my ideas, to what extent would you be willing to go to save my wretched, shattered soul? Would you be able to save me in time, before I fall into an abyss of torment?–_

 

X

– _my brother, do you remember? Do you remember our times as children? Do you remember the laughter, the smiles, the tricks we used to play on one another? Do you remember being punished when taking our pranks to mother? Do you remember their love?_

_You had taken his rebellious side, I had taken his logical side. We were the two parts of his soul, the fire and the ice. Our personalities surfaced from a young age, but within one another’s close proxemics, it did not matter, for we were toddlers without a care in the world, we found friends in each other when there were no others to befriend._

_I remember when you had fallen and scraped your knees against concrete, you were not crying, you had been laughing. Mother had tried to chase you in an attempt to disinfect and bandage, but by the time she had reached you, the damage had disappeared. At first she had panicked, her motherly instincts grabbing hold of her calm, but she had eased within moments. We could hear father chuckling from nearby, mother returning to him with a pout on her face as we continued our activities._

_Mother had always found it amusing when we had tried to annoy father, yet we had never succeeded for he was too proud of us, he had too much love for us. He knew that there would be a time where the smiles upon our little faces would disappear, his time limited._

_Under his care we had learned to wield our weapons, we learned of strength, of power and the consequences that came with it. He had wanted us to use the powers for good. His abilities were slowly rusting, his life force draining the more he had stayed.Yet he did, to aid her with motherly duties, despite her incessant protesting._

_Father dismissed her protesting and cradled her in his arms, he wiped her tears away and smiled sadly, muttering sweet nothings to her, I remember it clearly. We had never seen the two arguing, for they were engrossed in one another, they had loved one another too much to be able to bicker. They cherished what little time they had together, they had supported each other through thick and thin. T’was truly a love so pure, even if they had been of different races._

_The days where he had started to wither, mother had started to crumble from within. She would not show it upon her face, but her body had involuntarily spoken for her. Her reactions slowed, it had become harder for her to smile, her actions became clumsy, often fumbling items she had held for years, she had begun to eat less, sleep less and was often treading upon the path of her memories._

_Yet through all this, she had continued bearing smiles for our sake, my brother, she continued caring for us, and like father did to her, she did to us, cradling us, radiating warmth to ensure that neither of us would be able to understand the situation at hand._

_Do you remember it all, brother? Or did you simply store the collection away, in hopes to spare yourself the pain? Did you rid yourself of the warmth our parents gave to us until their dying breaths, or did you use it to fuel your ever growing hatred for demons? Though you hide the hatred within the veil of your laid-back demeanor, will you be able to conceal it forever?–_

X

– _I remember the times where you shined a row of white and ruffled the snow atop my head, your soft laughter filling the silence. Whenever Dante and I had begun to fight, you would have separated us and had us do our own activities. Though it did not last, he and I would be sparring once more, practicing our newly found skills with our new weapons, handing down from father’s arsenal._

_Under your care, we had been taught of emotions: affection, happiness, trust, you had educated us to rely on one another. Not once were we separated under your care, not once had we endured pain under your watchful eye, for you loved us from the bottom of your fragile heart._

_You cheered for us, you encouraged us to continue, to be the saviors of humanity, to follow in father’s steps. When we had received our respective blades, you were overjoyed, almost to the point of tears._

_When the night of the tragedy came to pass, you had been smiling in the morning, like any other day. You had treated us to our favourite foods, our favouite drinks and allowed us to be free that day. T’was an impending doom that you had known of, or at least suspected, but you did not prepare._

_When the demons had arrived, you hid Dante and you sent me away, my memories had never allowed me to remember where. I was a fool to follow your instructions, I was a fool to leave you be. You sacrificed yourself for us._

_The pain was insufferable, I could not sleep, I could not eat and my ardor for power grew far past my control. You had never taught us of pain, therefore it had lead to an impact that continued for decades._

_You had become my nightmares, a constant reminder of the fact that I had failed to protect you, my dearest mother. I dream of your smile and our memories without end, but by the end, my body shakes, my voice caught, my eyes threatening to show the tears I had stored away since the incident._

_My only wish is that you can forgive me, for my incompetency, my corruption, my inability to keep those around me safe, away from harm’s path. I hope you are able to see the ulterior motive to my actions, the underlying love I had clung to for Dante, to make up for your death.–_

X

– _I beseech you, my brother, take care of her. Take care of my beloved blade, do not put her in danger’s way, for she is the one who comforted me when you could not. She embraced me in her blizzard and drowned me in a sea of affection. I cannot fathom how painful it must be for her to be without a master._

_You and I had spent hours upon hours engaging in conversations, the topics ranging from rambling of your day with other devil arms and how much of a plague Rebellion was, to simpler topics, of the day, the weather, our goals, what could happen afterwards._

_You saved me from certain death through your arrival, you saved me from myself as a child and I cannot repay you. Nothing I ever did would be able to repay you for your actions, for you had also become the savior of my nightmares. You embraced me as a child, and I embraced you as an adult, for it was all I was able to do for your aching soul._

_You appeared at the end of every nightmare, for you could not intervene from the very beginning, but you had cradled my convulsing body, my head upon your chest, your hands lost amidst my snowy locks, your lips against my forehead, murmuring little things, reminding me it was merely a nightmare, that I would be okay, that I could fight it all._

_But I could not, you were my strength, my might, my power, my motivation, only through your blade could I have gotten anywhere, and for that you have my eternal thanks. I could not fight the nightmares that plagued my mind, for you were not there to aid me. I had become too dependent on you, my sweet._

_We had shared a connection that could not be explained by words alone, for our actions spoke far more than basic words, our very souls had become linked. Through our years together, I had grown an unspeakable desire for you, but I had dismissed it for the sake of our relationship, you are far too important for human impulses._

_Your goals had been clear since the tragedy had befallen, you had wanted to offer relaxation, tranquility, love for the sake of forgetting reality, for the sake of giving me a reason to live, and you had succeeded, far more than you could ever imagine as simply being within your vicinity had induced all that and more, my dear._

_You had been proud of me despite my vicious ardor, despite the ultimate goal, despite going against father’s wishes, for you had placed your trust and love within my broken soul, in attempts to mend the wretched thing, and you most certainly had._

_You were my calming agent, my actions only within the boundaries of your wishes and your respect, I would never allow myself to bring you any harm, any anger, any sadness. You are the embodiment of cold, rather, the queen of cold, and unto you, I devoted every fiber of my being, my queen.–_

 

Tears streamed endlessly, his face contorting with pure pain, droplets of water splattering onto the contents of the pages, smearing the perfect handwriting, smudging the contents, wetting the pages, turning them black through the mesh of ink and water. It wasn’t until towards the end of the book did he break once more, howling his lost twin’s name in torment.

 

X

_–you were right, brother of mine. I cannot fight the growing ardor any longer. Since the day that you had given me a chance at life, it had bloomed within, casting a shadow over my actions, my thoughts. I was not free to think for myself, and I could not tell you how much I loved you, it forbade me. I have done many a things wrong, but I only hope you can forgive me._

_Each day I had wanted to remind you of my love, to litter kisses over your sleeping face, to smile for god’s sake, but knowing you, you had not noticed it, for you were too engrossed with our situation. You were far too good for me, my sweet, for I cannot be mended with this broken soul, no matter your ceaseless attempts at reforging whatever pieces you could find._

_The ardor had become a painful entity that I could not dismiss, rooted deep within my miserable heart, constantly reminding me of my failures, my inability to gain strength, the loss of our dear mother, the incident that blinded me and submerged me into darkness. I could not be truly happy, but your presence had always managed to alleviate some of the hurt it had caused through its thrashing._

_But you, my brother, had managed to become a docile inferno, your warmth permeating, melting away whatever shards of ice I had within my veins, settling, taking a piece of my soul for your own. You managed to bring unto me happiness, unseen by you through my stoicism; you never had a keen eye for these things. Much like Yamato, you too, eventually became a calming agent, bringing tranquility after nights of ferocious activity._

_As days passed, I had become torn in two, one side had wanted to remain with you, the other had wanted to continue the lost quest for power. I had to leave you, brother of mine, before you were forced to witness me succumbing to the zeal. Do not hate me so, please, put my soul at ease once it is gone, for it will not be long. Do not forget my underlying love, please Dante, do not, for my intentions were pure, for the first time.-_

The final piece of writing, though different writing, letters struggling to connect, as though a child had written it.

X

– _I endured the pain he inflicted unto my body in hopes that I would be able to see you once more, my brother. His cackles echoed in my mind, an endless noise, one I had never gotten used to. During the time that I resisted, he managed to break every bone in my body through brute force, bruises upon bruises, gashes upon gashes, I endured._

_I did not have the comfort of my beloved, I did not have her reassuring cold, nor did I have your brash antics to indulge in silently. I was sure I would have died within the first day, but Mundus was a smart man, he learned what my body was capable of withstanding, he learned I was susceptible to the memories of family, to the memories of her, to the memories of you, my brother._

_Each day a new broken bone, a new laceration, more blood shed, gushing endlessly. The days where he dug deep into the depth of my mind and reminded me of our childhood and showed me the grueling death of our mother, I could not take it. I screamed, I bellowed, I let my emotions loose, but I survived, and for the first time I had come to detest my demon heritage._

_Within his palace, I was not the only prisoner. Their shrill cries had never ended, crying out for help until they could not, until they were liberated through death. Whilst my nightmares of old persisted, new ones had emerged and I had become afflicted with insomnia. I was not allowed liberation._

_There was no medication for this madness, and I could not inflict any pain unto myself, he would not allow it, for he had eyes plastered to the walls, to observe as my warden. I entered a state of unending panic, I had grown fearful, anxiety pricked my skin at every sound, praying night after night for this nightmare to end._

_I had become weak, my mind broken, my vocal chords removed, my body still enduring until he had finally made use of me. He mutated my body, I morphed into a monster and I had lost my memories. I had a single item to remind me, yet a single glance would send spasmodic jolts of agony._

_The sight of you could not trigger any lost memories, but you had changed, you had matured. My body had retained its previous habits and my honor remained intact, yet even you, my brother, could not tell it was me, despite our years of sword fighting._

_I had lost to you once before, and now I found myself losing again. You had continued to attain more strength, but I had not. I could not. The moment arrived where we would encounter our final showdown, and only at the end, when you had delivered your final blow did you come to realise that I had been alive._

_My brother, my twin, I could not express in mere words the joy, the relief that had overcome my body. Though the pain was apparent, it was washed away with ease, along with his infernal cackling. Everything I had felt, all the pain, it had become worth it, as I had finally come to see the fruits of your endeavors._

_Gods, you had heard my pleas, my prayers, and sent to me my liberator. One day we shall be reunited, you may tell every me little tedious, mundane, exciting, exhilarating detail that your long years of mortality offered, and once more your voice shall ring in my ears.–_

 

Through bleary sight, he had nearly missed a note, etched poorly into the cover of the book.

_I love you with all of my soul._

 

" _I love you too,"_ a defeated whisper escaping parted lips, body limp, every ounce of energy had vanished as he rested on the floor, book cradled against his aching chest.

**Author's Note:**

> everything's on taaaamblr, also sorry for not updating Carnal Desire lmao (or am I??) - I'll get on it as soon as possible
> 
> -I changed it a little so there's around a year or two of interactions between Vergil and Dante, after being saved from the demon realm and before Nelo Angelo.  
> \- the 'she' in the first 'x' is Yamato.  
> -don't come at me with pitchforks telling me x/y/z didn't happen why would I put it there, I put it there because I wanted to - I know the DMC timeline quite fine.  
> -nothing is mine, other than the angst (though even that shit's shared with Dante, poor baby) and the excerpts.


End file.
